Count the Beats

I got in the car today to go to my internship and Ke$ha's "We R Who We R" was on the radio. It made me half smile, given the condition of the roads today. That was the song that was blaring through my speakers when I spun out on I-15 right by the Port of Entry on my way back to school during my freshman year. It was snowing that day and the roads were slick. I wasn't going very fast, but I tried to slow down so I didn't run into the car in front of me. Something happened and I did a complete slow-mo 360 on the freeway, right at the mouth of the on-ramp where the trucks were pulling onto the road. It was most terrifying thing that has every happened to me. Every time I hear that song, it reminds me of it.

Some people associate memories with smells. For me, majority of mine are tied to songs. College is no exception. I've discovered more songs and bands during the last three and a half years than I can count. Part of it is because I finally had a computer that I could spend endless hours on Youtube with. Another part of it is my social media use. I find so many songs on Twitter and Tumblr. I've been feeling very nostalgic lately, probably because I'm graduating in a few days, so I put together a college playlist. Enjoy!

Freshman Year:
Katy Perry's entire Teenage Dream album. I discovered this that year. Still a solid album almost 4 years later. "Not Like the Movies" still stands out as the song that helped me find the answer I needed. I bawled all the way through the canyon that day.

Katy Perry "In Between" This one is all about a boy. The relationship didn't work out, but I did learn a lot about myself. I think I cried the first time I heard this song because it was so pertinent to my situation.

Ferras "Something About You" Fall, watching the leaves change.

Bat For Lashes "Daniel". This is wintertime for me. Sitting in the Hub staring out the windows and watching everyone pass when I should have been working on homework.

Temper Trap "Sweet Disposition" Attempting to sunbathe on the grass with Esther and Mabel the very first warm day of Spring.

Phoenix "Listomania" Finals week. My roommate Esther and I played smash ball in our tiny hallway while listening to this. We lost the ball outside one day, so we tried to play with pine cones. It didn't work well.

Sophomore Year

Katy Perry "The One That Got Away" This song just feels like fall. I made my roommates watch Ellen with me the day the video premiered.

Katy Perry "Part of Me" The Grammy's. Made my roommates watch those too. 

Goyte "Eyes Wide Open" Spring. Studying in the library.

M83 "Midnight City" I heard this song the very first time I ever watched Coachella (on Youtube of course. I don't have that much money.) 

Junior Year

Taylor Swift "I Almost Do." Rainy day walking on campus thinking about calling someone I wanted to talk to. I didn't.

John Mayer "Edge of Desire" "Not Myself" I was walking home from work late one night and I looked up. The sky was super dark, but there were stars. It was gorgeous and I felt so small. Sometimes you just need those moments.

Angus and Julia Stone "Big Jet Plane" I got sick and I remember listening to this over and over in my pain killer dazed state. It was so sad.

Parachute "White Dress" They played the End of Year Bash. My three best friends came up and went to the concert with me. It was one of the best nights. 

Senior Semester

Panic at the Disco "Collar Full" Infatuation is always fun...until it ends.

Katy Perry "Roar" When the Homecoming Dance sucks, you have a dance party in your living room instead.

The Joy Formidable "The Leopard and the Lung" This is going to be the graduation song, I think. I found it last week and I can't stop listening to it. It's just one of those songs where it starts and you get the best kind of lost for a few minutes.

I'm sure there are tons more, I just can't think of them right now. Only 2 more days until I'm done! Am I ready for this?

2 Weeks and Counting

My inner journalist is cringing a little at that title. I had a professor my sophomore year that drilled into our heads that we were NEVER to use a number at the start of a sentence. But there really isn't another way to say it, so I'll just have to tune him out.

I have 2 WEEKS until I am COMPLETELY done with my undergrad. That seems so insane to me. I've been counting down to this for the last like year and a half, and now it's finally here. It doesn't seem real. I don't feel like the semester is over. It went REALLY fast. I feel like it just started, yet everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do in a few weeks. How am I almost a college graduate?

I've been thinking a lot about the last few years. A few moments really stand out, including the moment I first realized I was in the right program. The boys seem to stick out a lot too. Looking back, it doesn't seem like it's been 3 and a half years. Does everyone feel this way when the graduate?

I was listening to my iPod this morning while I was getting ready and this song by Lorde came on. It really hit me. It is scary getting old.

*Rae

Taking a Prismatic View on Life

After 85 days of anxiously waiting, it came yesterday! Wait, what came yesterday? PRISM came yesterday!!!!! It really shouldn't be a surprise if you follow my Twitter that I'm a huge Katy Perry fan (I actually prefer the term Katycat, but whatevs) so I was super excited for this album. Her last official album Teenage Dream was released over 3 years ago. Granted "Part of Me" and "Wide Awake" happened a year and a half ago, but still. It was time for new music.

I'm probably a little biased when I say the album is great, but honestly, it was exactly what I was waiting/hoping for. A lot has changed for my favorite pop star in the 3 years since her last album. She's grown up and matured and it shows in her song writing. The 16-track deluxe edition of PRISM is all about self-reflection, light and love. There are more love songs on this one than the previous albums, which is great. The fun dance party/Friday night songs are still there in "Birthday" and "This is How We Do" but a more grown-up Katy surfaces in the latter half of the album. Songs like "Love Me" and "By the Grace of God" show just how far she has come. Her vocals have improved along with her personal growth, which is always great to hear. I love all (okay expect "Dark Horse") of the songs on this album for different reasons, but I have a top 3 right now.

International Smile: Is there a way to get this song to play when I walk into a room? This is my new theme song. Written about her best friend DJ Mia Moretti, the song describes a powerful women who isn't afraid to go after what she wants. I want to be like that.

Love Me

Love Me: One of the self-reflection songs. It's all about learning to love yourself before you can let someone else love you. This song spoke to me when I first heard it and continues to give me strength. I love how music can do that.YouTube has failed to produce a decent audio video of this, so you have to link to Grooveshark, but it's worth the click.

Choose Your Battles: As of now, this is my favorite. It closes out the deluxe version. Like "Love Me" listening to this song felt like Katy had gotten into my head and wrote about my thoughts. The first time I heard the last minute, I got chills. Life relevant much? I love that this song is about deciding what to fight for. Sometimes you have to pick your battles because you won't win everything. Sometimes you want to fight to make something work, but the other person has already given up and you just kind of have to put your hands up and say "it's up to you. I'm done trying if you're not going to." 

There are several other songs that I really enjoy. "Walking on Air" is fun to dance to, and I want to play "Double Rainbow" at my wedding. "By the Grace of God" makes me emotional. Overall, this album is great, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a Katycat. I highly recommend checking it out, even if it's just on YouTube (make sure you get quality vids though.) It's one of the best 4th quarter offerings of 2013.

Time's Flying

Someone please tell me you woke up Green Day this morning?

When did it become October 1st? Where did September go? Better yet, where did all of summer go? I feel like time is going WAY to fast lately. It feels like summer just started, but now it's over and Fall is officially here (which is okay because I really like October and corn mazes and pumpkin cookies and Hocus Pocus) I've been at Winegars for 4 months now. I'll be done with my undergrad in 10 weeks. Like how is that even possible? It feels like I just started!

I'm doing all the things I want to for the most part. Class, work, hanging out with friends, but it still feels like I'm running out of time to do those things. December is going to be here before I know it and then I'm going to have to find a real job that may make me move away from my friends and family. That's scary.

If anyone knows how to make time slow down just a little bit, let me know!

Monday Blues?

If my Facebook and Twitter feeds are anything to go by, no one likes Mondays. They are rough, It was hard for me to wake up today too. My bed is way too warm and comfy compared to the harsh reality of an 8:30 class. Thankfully, I had a bit of an incentive in the form of a new song.

Katy Perry's new album "Prism" comes out in 22 days (not that I'm counting or anything). Along with releasing the lead single "Roar" she has released a couple promo singles. The point of these songs is just to tease the album. They aren't necessarily supposed to get radio time, though if they do I'm sure none of her team will cry. They are just meant to show what is to come. The first of the two was called "Dark Horse." It is VERY different from anything Katy has done before. I get some major "ET" vibes from it, but it really isn't the same. Rapper Juicy J guests on it, giving the already trap beat and even bigger hip hop influence. It's a good song and I like it, but I don't love it.

My love is reserved for the second promo single. "Walking on Air." Pulling on 90's dance hits and a little bit of the EDM vibe, "Walking on Air" should have been the lead single. The undercurrent love theme is classic Katy. When I first heard it last night it instantly put me in a better mood. I'd been listening to Death Cab for Cutie and some other slower stuff while I waited for "Walking on Air" to be released. The minute the first beats started, I smiled. It made me want to dance in bed. If you haven't heard it yet, check it out below. Go buy it. Sing it in the shower. Dance to it in the car. I'm right there with you.

Thoughts About Today

It's been 12 years, but seeing the images from that day still make me sad. Last night I was going through my old blog (nostalgia) and I came across a post I wrote two years ago on the 10 year anniversary. I'd like to re-share it. The thoughts I had then are still applicable now. May those who lost their lives that day, and those who have worked to protect our country, be forever remembered.

10 years ago I was 9. I was a 4th grader who didn't really pay attention to what was going on in the world. If it wasn't happening to me directly in my little bubble of elementary school, I didn't have a clue. Days revolved around friends and TV. Music and homework pages. I probably couldn't have told you a single thing happening in the "real" world, and to be honest, I didn't care. I didn't understand what tragedy was or what hatred meant. I was pretty much a typical kid.

And then it happened. That morning-I'll never forget where I was. My alarm when off at like 7:30, telling me it was time for yet another in my unair-conditioned school. But it was a different day. Instead of music or stupid commentary about the latest move, Todd and Erin, the DJ's on B98, were serious. The sound of their voice-it was like they were trying not to cry as they reported that two planes had hit the towers in New York. I didn't know what the towers were, but I knew things were bad. I rushed to turn on the TV to see the image we all know so well now.

Smoke rising out of the towers into the blue sky. I didn't really understand what was happening or what it meant, but it made me sad. I ran up the stairs to tell my mom, but she already knew. She was sitting on the couch with a stunned look on her face, like she coudn't believe what had happened.

School was interesting that day. I remember going to class and talking about what had happened. Everyone was so on edge-as they probably should have been. My teacher, Mrs. Lowe, asked us to write a journal entry about what pandemonium was. I didn't even know what the word meant. I wish I still had the journal, but I remember writing something about it meaning craziness like what was happening in New York, since that's what we had been talking about, while all the while fighting the image of a panda dancing around my head.

After school, I went home and watched all of the images of people coming out of the wreckage on the news. It was so over-whelming and I remembering being sad. The radio played every patriotic song they could find, including "I'm Proud to be an American." Hearing that song while sitting in front of the TV and seeing all the mess, I got goosebumps. To this day I can't listen to that song without getting chills and a little misty eyed.

On that day, for the first time I can remember, America stood totally united. Everyone was affected, whether they knew someone in New York or not. I personally didn't know anyone that was in the towers, but I heard stories and had classmates who's parents were supposed to be there, or be on one of those planes, but didn't go because of one thing or another. I constantly struggle with the idea of religion and where I stand with it, but I know that God was there, with all of those people, and everyone at home across America, protecting and holding them so that they could be strong.

And here we are 10 years later. What have we learned from 9-11? We still have hatred. Sometimes I think it's gotten even worse in the last few years. Our soldiers are still in Iraq. Politics is such a mess, I don't even want to imagine some of the candidates running our country. So why is it that one major event can unite a country so strongly yet the aftershocks of said event can pull us apart? Aren't we all Americans, fighting for the same rights we were promised: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

Life is not simple, but it shouldn't be taken for granted. We have to wake up every single day and remember that we are so BLESSED to be ALIVE! Everyday is a gift, no matter what is going on. We need to remember that there are people out there DYING so we can live. It's an interesting paradox, isn't it?

Sometimes war is necessary and I support our troops even though I don't always agree with the cause for battle. I hope that one day, my children will be able to live in a world without hatred, bigotry, and evil. Maybe we can learn from our past and become better people because of it.

Whatever happens, wherever I may end up in this life, I know that I will never forget September 11th.

Words by Rae

I think I was 11 the first time I thought of being a writer. I’d written a horribly horrible (in terms of writing/style not content) short novel and thought it was fun. I still have the sixty notebook pages. I keep them to remind myself that I can never be as bad of a writer as I was then.  The short little novel was passed around the girls in my fifth grade class who apparently liked the love story between Kate and Sam. I thrived on the feedback. Their positive endorsements made me think that maybe, just maybe, I had what it took to write full time. I had this idealistic vision that I would live in a tiny house built sometime in the early 1900’s. The attic would be my writing space where I would craft excellent novels that everyone would fawn over. At 11, it seemed like a perfect existence.

Fast forward 10 years and while part of me still wants that house, I’m realizing being an author might not be in my game plan. Obviously it won’t pay the mortgage on that quant house, it also doesn’t seem possible. I’ve written and finished 6 or so novels and tried to publish two of them. I was rejected with both projects. During my first week of class this semester, some of my professors explained that in the PR business sometimes we have to make things happen for ourselves. It’s an idea that I’ve always been aware of, but hearing it again made me think.

The idea of publishing has never really left me, even though I’ve picked a different career path. The traditional way obviously didn’t work out for me. I’ve considered self-publishing on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, but it’s a long process. The 11 year-old is still alive in me. I never wanted to write for the money. I wrote because I had stories inside me that I wanted to share. The positive feedback from my readers pushed me to write more. I write because I like to share the stories inside my head (even though sharing a project for the first time absolutely terrifies me.)

I know that blogs can be a powerful resource. They are a free and easy way to spread information to people all over the world. I may not be able to run a mile, but I sure as heck can run a blog. The combination of all of this led me to one of the best ideas I’ve had in a while. Why not create a blog where I can post all of my writing? Hence the creation of www.wordsbyrae.tumblr.com

I chose Tumblr mainly because of the tags feature. I know blogger has one as well, but Tumblr’s makes more sense to me. I’ve seen other people post their writing on the website and have seen the positive reception it has received. So far I only have my latest Camp Nano effort Restart up as well as The Summer of Luke (some of you may have read it when I had it up on Figment.) I’m hoping to be able to post my new things as I finish them, but that’s much easier said than done. Either way, I just want to share. That’s why I started writing in the first place. If you check it out, great. If not, well at least you know it’s there. If you have a Tumblr, message me and let me know what you think of the pieces. You can always message me here too.

Rae