New Year, New Beginings

Happy New Years Eve! 2012 has been a decent year, but I'm ready for the next adventures. I feel like 2013 is going to be the year things really start happening for me. I'm going to graduate in December, which will be a huge payoff. I'm going to do at least one internship, which will show me exactly what I get to do everyday after graduation. I'm considering taking a trip to Vegas and possibly zooming into California to hit up a beach...just depends on things. I have a lot of plans, including some I can't tell you because I don't want to jinx them.

While there is a lot to look forward to in the coming year, there's been a lot to be grateful for in the last 12 months. I took AND passed (with A's and B's) probably the hardest classes in my college career. JCOM 2020 and Media Law, you no longer scare me. Beside's PR Research, my remaining classes are walks in the park. While I cried and whined my way through them, making it through the difficult classes alive  proved to me that I CAN DO HARD THINGS! School wasn't the only big thing in 2012. I'm in the mood to do a whole year re-cap like everyone else and their brother.

Big Things In 2012
January: I sent my book to a publisher. I've dreamed of becoming published, but never felt gutsy enough to actually send anything in. I finally "manned up" and sent it in.
I turned 20 and officially left my teenage years and mistakes behind.

May: I moved home from Logan to start one of the craziest, most fun summer's I've had.
I met someone who taught me how to be loved.
The publisher contacted me and let me know that my manuscript had been denied. It sucked, but I knew it was coming.
I was named one of the Outstanding PR juniors of the year at USU.

June: DISNEYLAND! I convinced my family to wait 45 minutes just so I could meet Tinkerbell. My inner 5 year-old was satisfied.
Midnight Denny's Runs, slurpee stops and tons of laughs.
I became a "Katy Captain" and scored some sweet Katy swag.

July: Mom and I got to see "Katy Perry Part of Me" in 3D at the premiere for FREE! I saw the film 7 times after that.
After 3 years, I finally quit the bowling alley. It was long overdue, but I miss the paychecks and a few of the people I worked with.

August: I fully enjoyed my month of not working and singleness by hanging out as much as I could with my girls Jayna and Candee.
My Camp Nanowrimo novel took my 2 weeks to finish. It is my favorite piece to date.
Moved back to Logan for school, excited by the new possibilities.

December: Finished the semester will an almost 4.0. (I got an A- in grammar.)
Moved home for 3 weeks of nothingness haha. I spent most of my break running errands for myself and others. My few days of nothingness drove me crazy.
Started something that I can't wait to tell you about when I know more information.

And that's it. So many little things happened as well, but I don't think we need to rehash those. I'm so excited for everything I hope this new year brings. Small pants! New job opportunities! Ending my college life chapter! Getting partially out of debt (maybe, but a girl can hope).

I hope everyone has a fabulous New Year's Eve, and enjoys the parties or whatever your night includes. Just remember to be safe. A cab is a WHOLE lot cheaper than an accident.

I REMEMBERED!!

Hey look! It's Friday and I'm posting! I remembered to blog today!! I feel like I deserve a cookie for that.

Today I present you a song (just like every Friday). I'm not usually a Ke$ha fan. She's a little too crazy/slutty for my liking, but this song redeems her. Granted I think she's growing up a little bit. She showed up to the 2012 MTV VMA's in a gorgeous evening gown with smooth hair and not a trace of crazy makeup. So maybe there's hope. I don't remember when I first heard this song, but I know it's been within the last couple of weeks. The bridge struck me. The lyric "I don't want to think about what's gonna be after this, I just want to live right now" is perfect! I think sometimes we get so caught up in planning the future that we forget life is happening right now and we need to enjoy it.

Christmas Is Over

So Christmas is over...it's hard to think that it is. Yesterday didn't really feel like a holiday to me. It was just another day spent with my whole family. The weather didn't make it feel like Christmas either. It was warm-ish and sunny here. Too bad today couldn't have been yesterday. That might have helped.

I feel like I've had this problem the entire month. It just hasn't felt like the holidays. I did the usual December things, like come home to get and decorate the tree, listened to carols and Jingle Bells, watched several Christmas shows including my personal favorite "Arthur's Perfect Christmas" (holla if you remember this), and bought and wrapped gifts. Yet, it still didn't feel like Christmas.

It seems like this has been an issue ever since I started college. Maybe it's because of the push to finish the semester so close to the holiday. Maybe it doesn't feel like Christmas because I'm away from my family for most of the month. Whatever the reason, I don't like it!

Am I the only one who feels like this? Is this something all college kids go through? What are your thoughts on feeling Christmas?

Happy Christmas Eve!!

Happy Christmas Eve, everyone! Hopefully the day has been as great for you as it has been for me! For the crazy's who like snow, it looks like there will be a white Christmas. And if not...well at least homes have heaters. If your family is anything like mine, Christmas is all about family. Now that we're all grown up for the most part, Christmas has become the time when we all get to see each other. My brother always comes up from Vegas, I'm home from school, and everyone just wants to spend time together. It's perfect.

Like many families, Christmas is where most of our traditions come from. Every Christmas Eve we go to breakfast as a family and then try to visit our grandparents. Breakfast is great, except for the fact that we get up so early for it. I'm not a morning person. Another one of our traditions is doing what's called "Shepard's Supper" where we have simple sandwiches on the floor in front of our Christmas tree. Dinner is where the spiritual side of the holiday comes in for us. We read the Christmas story from Luke 2 and sing hymns. Of course we open one present, which is ALWAYS pajamas, on Christmas Eve. After re-reading this paragraph, I've realized most of my family's traditions revolve around eating....hmm....

Christmas morning has routine as well. We get up at 6:30 to open presents, but in the days leading up to Christmas, everyone tries to convince my little brother that we should sleep late and enjoy Christmas since we're all older. We tease him about waiting, but we never do.

Christmas is perfect for spending time with family and laughing. I hope everyone enjoys the holiday and has a great Christmas! Merry Christmas Friends!

It's Christmas Time

Obviously Friday posts are killing me because yesterday was the 2nd time I've forgotten. So here's one to make up for it.

I know I shared a song on Wednesday, but I want to share another. My inner child claims that "I Want a Hippo for Christmas" is my favorite Christmas song. The adult inside me has another idea. "Do They Know It's Christmas Time" is my all-time favorite. It takes the true meaning of the holidays, being thankful for what you have and those around you, and capitalizes on it. The band Band Aid originally recorded the track, but many others have covered it. The Glee cover is my favorite to date.

I hope everyone has a great holiday and remembers to spread love and cheer. As Buddy the Elf said "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." So sing and laugh and love. The apocalypse didn't happen so we all have a lot to be thankful for. In case I miss Monday's post (which is highly probable) Merry Christmas!

It's Not Friday But...

I know I usually only share music on Friday, but since it's Christmas I think I can break the rules (I'm the one who made the rule anyway so I can change it if I want, right?) Anyway, the song I want to share is one of my FAVORITE Christmas songs.

The first time I heard this song was in high school. I was listening to the radio while I was getting ready for school, and a teacher from my elementary school called in to request the song. I listened to it, too busy getting ready for school to get up and change the station. It honestly sounded like the dumbest song. I swear I heard it like 100 times in two days after that. And then I didn't hear it and it made me sad. Somehow in the space of a few days, it went from the song I couldn't stand to the song I NEEDED to hear.

It's been a few years since that Christmas, and I hardly ever hear this song on the radio. Thankfully I have YouTube to get my fix. Last year my parents even bought me a hippo that dances and sings the song. It's great.

"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" is my favorite Christmas song. I swear this will be the first Christmas song my children learn. I have also learned that I can't spell hippopotamus. Merry Almost Christmas peeps.

First Day of Break

It's the first official day of Winter Break for USU students. While many are probably sleeping themselves out of finals week insomnia or holiday party madness, I'm not slowing down. Now that school is out of the way for a few weeks, I can focus on Christmas. And focus on Christmas I have. It's really hard to think that it's the holidays when every project, paper, and test is due at the first of December. Being away from the fam certainly doesn't help either. Now that I'm home with the tree and goodies, it finally feels like Christmas.

Minus a minor blip, all of my shopping has been done since Thanksgiving. Yet, I spent today shopping. You see, my dad and I have a deal worked out. He gives me a list of things he wants to get my mom and sends me out to find them. I return, show him what I've found and tell him how much he owes me. It works out pretty well since he works during the days and nights are crazy and I'm sitting home doing nothing but reading. I can usually get a few extra bucks out of him if I wrap them as well. Did I mention, I'm not a very good gift-wrapper?? Anyway, it's kind of become a tradition and this year is no exception, leading me to spend my day hunting down gifts.

Does anyone else worry that people won't like their gifts? I have major anxiety about this every year! I find something I think they'd like, would look nice in, or could use, and then they don't like it or don't use it. I've tried to stick to gift lists, but sometimes that's difficult when you have a student budget. Christmas isn't about the gifts, it's about love and spending time with family and friends, but I still worry EVERY YEAR!! Please tell me I'm not the only one that goes through this.

Whoops....

I realized late last night that I didn't post anything, and I was super mad at myself. I haven't missed a single Friday since I started this thing. Maybe finals week and my mixed up days got the best of me. Anyway, I still wanted to post a song this week.

Justin Bieber isn't really my thing. He has some catchy songs, but I'm def not a Beliber (what his fanbase calls themselves.) I heard this song the other day though, and I can't stop listening to it. The fact that Nicki Minaj is featured on it, gives it a little bit of street cred and if anyone asks, I'm listening to it for Nicki. Though I'm not a Nicki fan either....anyways.

"Beauty and the Beat" shows Justin is growing up and I like it. I could be someone's Beauty if they bring the beat....

Happy Saturday everyone!

Just Gonna Throw This Out There

Being finals week, I'm spending a lot of time in the library, which is great. I'm getting a lot done and it's a nice reprieve from the box that is my apartment. While I've been sitting in the quiet zone, I've noticed something. There is some good eye candy here! Which brings up my question. HOW DO YOU TALK TO THEM?? I feel like this is a national female epidemic. You see them, exchange brief, flitting smiles, but never say a word and you never see them again! What are you supposed to say? They're just as zoned into their studying as you are (well maybe a bit more than you are, since you're staring at them.) You can't exactly be all "Hey, I'm Rachael and I think you're attractive." Red stalker flags will go through the roof. Yet at the same time, you want to say something, acknowledge that you see them looking just as much as you are....delimias.

I think the library should host a dating scene or something. Like you could go and just talk to everyone else that is sitting there without feeling like you are interrupting them. Or they could put up a "missed connections" board. Have you ever read those on Craig's List. Funny stuff.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who wonder's these things. Also, I would like to propose that rings be worn in any serious relationship by both partners. It will take away a lot of the guessing game.

I should be going over my psychology notes for my final, but blogging for a second was a lot more entertaining.

Happy 12/12/12 day! Hope you made a good wish this afternoon!

You Made It!

Congratulations! You made it through Fall Semester. One more week, a few tests, maybe a project or two, and you will be free for three wonderfully delicious weeks. It is so close.

Three weeks without textbooks to be read, papers to write, and classes to sit (tweet) through. That’s a lot of free time to play with. I fully intend to do everything I haven’t been able to do for the last 15 weeks. I have a list of books I want to read, movies I want to watch, and sleep to catch up on. Most important of everything on my winter “wishlist” is write a book. Nanowrimo crashed and burned in November because school went insane, but I still have a story I want to tell, and plenty of time to tell it. I don’t know when I’ll get another three weeks on nothingness to just write, so I better take advantage of them.

Along with all these solo activities, I want to hang out with friends and enjoy being a young adult. This is the first break I won’t work at the bowling alley, and I’m more than a little thrilled. Sometimes not working like crazy can be fun. The holidays are about spending time with the people you love and I love my friends and can’t wait to have some awesome adventures!

So, the end is here. Get through this week and the break will be well worth it! Good luck on finals everyone! 

Little Lost Girl

Today's essay is one of, if not THE, most personal essay I wrote this semester. We were given the assignment to write a pilgrimage essay. For this type of writing, you go somewhere and write about the feelings and memories of it and how the way the place is now brings those back. I struggled with what to write for this. We were taught many different types of essay styles, but the pilgrimage was the one required essay and I wanted it to be good. This is what I came up with. And being Friday, I'm including a song. I feel like "Lost" by Katy Perry explains it perfectly. Happy Friday Everyone!

Little Lost Girl

            I can never remember if it’s 5^th or 4^th East I’m supposed to take. Looping near the back to park by the fountain is what I want, but I can double back up the hill if I have to. I pull up 4^th East, curving me around the little look-out hill bench thing and end up exactly where I want to be.

            I find it strange that this place is the one part of Cache Valley that continually draws me back. For me, it’s the valley landmark. I’ve tried so many times to get lost in this place, just drive and alternate between right and left turns to see where I end up. Maybe it’s the grid system, but no matter where I go, I can always see the sandstone brick, making me not lost. My mother would argue the second point. When I was a child she would tell my brothers and I “you’re never lost if you can see the temple.” At least not in LDS populated Utah, where temples and church buildings seem to be as popular as 7-Eleven’s. When we would take trips across the state, we would play “spot the temple” and see how many we could point out. It was fun when I was a kid, but things changed and the white walls didn’t have quite the same meaning for me as I got older. The attraction baffles me. I’m only in the valley for school, but I find myself driving past the Logan Temple every chance I get.

            Being a Sunday, the place is deserted. It’s okay with me. The less people gawking at me and my pink owl hat as I scribble away in my notebook, the better. Everyone that would be here are crammed into the church houses since the Temple is only used for certain events and religious ordinances. I could have gone to church today. I was awake early enough. But I didn’t.

            I fully planned on sitting on the cement steps that overlook Logan with the temple behind me, but someone has other plans. The big metal gates are locked, keeping me out. Ironic? Maybe. I’m not allowed inside the brick walls either. I haven’t been inside any temple since I was a junior in high school. So, if I can’t get in, why do I keep coming back?

            My car is a lot warmer than the crisp fall air. The fountain, covered for the winter, is right in front of me. I can almost see my sixteen year-old self sitting on the edge, the summer sun bleaching my hair, with my female church youth group surrounding me.

            “It’s a fairy-tale castle. One day my prince charming will bring me here.” That’s what I had been trained to think and want.

            That was before I knew about my brother. Before I started to question what I wanted. Before I walked away.

            The group of young woman taking pictures with their leaders outside the gates makes me smile. It’s freezing being November and all, but they look happy. Their innocence and pure desire to believe is more than apparent in their giggling smiles. In a way, I envy them. I was once that way, trusting because I was told to. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to being twelve and being described as “a spiritual giant” by adults.

            There’s an older guy in a jogging suit circling the sidewalk. He smiles as he passes me in my car before looking back at the castle. He seems lost, like me, and I wonder if his situation is like mine. In Sunday School they told us it was easy to get lost. I believed it. But everyone gets lost differently and I don’t remember hearing a remedy for my kind of lost.

            “Just go back to church,” seems to be everyone’s answer to my situation.

            But it’s not that simple. I did go back, right after my break-up this summer to see if church was what I felt like I was missing. I dressed up, found a ward I knew people in and went, telling myself it was where I wanted to be. But I didn’t feel what everyone professed to feel when they were there. I just felt empty and like a poser. Some would think that when I’m sitting at the temple, it would be the same thing since the church buildings are supposed to be an extension of the temples, but I don’t. When I’m sitting on the cement steps I just feel sad. And lost. And confused.

            Going by the checklist, all I’d have to do to get back inside the stone walls would be hit up some sacrament meetings, pay forth 10% of my paychecks and brush the dust off my scriptures. There wouldn’t be any major forgiveness to ask for, just commitment on my part. It sounds easy, but I can’t convince myself that I really want it back. I left for a reason. A big part being the inability to accept others I saw manifested in members of multiple congregations. Part of me wonders if the thought of returning to the LDS church is just for the guys. In Cache Valley there seems to only be two types of males. The one’s who only want good Molly Mormons to take to the temple and live the bubble life and the one’s looking for a hookup. I don’t fit in either group.

            Seeing so many of my friends and people my age, a young 20, get married in the temple doesn’t help much. They all seem so happy, but I’ve spent forever believing the ceremony venue does not guarantee a happy-ever-after. It’s about the two people in the relationship and their commitment to each other.

            So with everything I feel and don’t feel, I don’t have a clear answer. There’s something about this place, the idea of a fairy tale maybe, that draws me back over and over. Maybe one of these times there will be an answer waiting.

Writer's Block

Today's post is brought to you by Writer's Block. This semester, I only experienced it once (thank heavens!) but it was bad. I needed to write an essay, but couldn't come up with something that wasn't cliche or already done a thousand times. This is what I ended up with.

What to Write?

            So, I decided to try to write a lyrical essay. We talked about them in class, about how the language was supposed to be eloquent and flowery. The format was different too. Overall I was pretty sure I could do it. Poems weren’t really my thing, but writing was like breathing. I was sure it couldn’t be incredibly hard. My laptop battery overcharged, an entirely new John Mayer album playing through my headphones and a Diet Coke by my side; I felt ready to write my masterpiece.

                Then my mental light bulb burned out. Horrifically, I realized I didn’t have a clue what to write about. Nothing exciting happened to me. Being a college student, the only thing I knew was being poor, being cold and being heartbroken. The only one that even sort of appealed to me was heartbreak, it being so recent and all. Yet a broken heart is like a broken record. Everyone has one and passes it around like celebrity gossip. I didn’t want to write that sad tale. It would take more than my 750 word limit. A mature decision maybe, but choosing not to air my dirty laundry meant I had nothing to write.

            Usually when the bully called writer’s block reared his ugly head, a small break would help send him packing. It was worth a shot, so I closed my word document. Four hours later I was fully caught up on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and the latest episodes of New Girl, but I still had no idea what to write. Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places for inspiration, I thought to myself. I powered down my laptop and pulled my kitten from his hiding spot under my bed. The only thing I gained from him were a few fresh, red scratches on my arms and a fully pissed off cat.

            “Can you hang out?” The text message from my best friend read. I glanced at my computer screen and the lackluster word count. I silently groaned and typed a quick message back. “Maybe…I have to finish an essay, but I want to hang out. Check with me in an hour?” I hit send and turned my attention back to the blinking cursor. The invitation was like a message from above. What I really needed to get my essay done was a deadline and I finally had one. Seeing my friends that I hadn’t seen in weeks since I was at Utah State doing school and they were still in Syracuse, Utah was what I really wanted to do. The only way my homework would get done was if I did it before I went out though. I had myself a deadline. One hour to write a 750 word essay about something….anything.

            Knowing the clock was ticking against me, my brain exploded with an epiphany. I could write my essay about not knowing what to write! Unceremoniously, I jammed my headphones into my ears, turned the sound up on the John Mayer album I had no idea why I was listening to, and placed my fingers on the keyboard. My chipped nail polish covered fingers danced over the keys as the words flowed from some unknown place. I had never actually written about not being able to write, but it seemed like a logical idea. “When you don’t have an idea, write about not knowing. See where it takes you,” my ninth grade creative writing teacher chorused every day during class free write time. It seemed like a ridiculous idea, but it was working. My word count multiplied like the American debt ratio and before I knew it, my essay was finished. I clicked “save” about a million times just to make sure my effort wasn’t wasted, before I turned the computer off. Homework complete, I called a quick goodbye to my parents and rushed outside to meet my waiting friends. 

My Mom

It's the last week of the semester! Yay!! It's been a long, rough, but good Fall. One of the classes I took was Creative Non-Fiction, in which we wrote tons of essays. In the spirit of the end of the semester, this week I'd like to share some of my favorite pieces.

Today's essay was actually the first one I wrote this semester. We were instructed to write our favorite memory of our mom. In case you don't know my mom, she's great! She does lots of funny stuff too, like "Hail  Mary," even though we aren't Catholic. My mom and I are really close and have done a lot of great things together, but my favorite one by far was when I was able to share my Katycatness with her. This is the essay that spawned from that. Enjoy!

Katycat Mom

            “This is the part of me that you’re never ever gonna take away from me!” I couldn’t help but sing at the top of my lungs as we sat in rush hour traffic.

            My mom gripped the steering wheel, smiling but not saying anything. I had to hand it to her. Katy Perry was my thing, but she agreed to come along for the movie, and for that I was super grateful. Driving to Sandy on my own was a little more than terrifying.

            Singing along to Katy Perry was a must since we were headed to her movie. Everyone thought I was nuts for driving to Sandy from Syracuse in the middle of Rush Hour to see her documentary when I could wait an extra three days and see it at the theater up the street, but this was the premiere. Having been selected as a Paramount “Katy Captain” my tickets to the movie were free, along with the blue hoodie I was rocking in the 100 heat.

            “I’m really glad you’re coming with me to this,” I mused in between songs.

            My mom smiled. We had talked a lot about Katy in recent months. It wasn’t really a surprise to anyone that Katy was my hero, and my mom being as cool as she was, embraced it. She had even sat and watched Katy Youtube videos with me the night before, in preparation for our movie mommy/daughter date. Obviously being a Katycat, I knew most of what was going to be in the film, but I did my best not to talk about it. No need to ruin the movie for my mom.

            We, well my mom, drove through town, locating the theater the premiere was being held in. Worried about traffic, we left early, leaving us plenty of time to stop at Crown Burger for dinner. I was an antsy case of excitement as we made our way back to the theater, our stomachs full. The box office lady directed us to the screen Katy Perry: Part of Me was being shown in and I all but ran to it. I didn’t have the tickets, since Paramount had promised someone at the door would have them for me.

            “What contest did you win?” the woman controlling admittance asked.

            “I’m a Katy Captain,” I replied, fear flooding my stomach. I was positive she was about to turn me away.

            Her brow furrowed for a minute before her eyes widened. “Oh you’re the studio rep. Of course, here are your tickets.”

            I took the tickets as she walked past with a handful of official movie posters.

            “What does she have to do to get one of those,” my mom asked, surprising me. She had been pretty quiet about my captain swag.

            The woman pulled one from her hand and gave it to me. “They’re supposed to be for contest winners, but since you’re the studio rep, you can have one. What size of t-shirt do you wear? I’ll get you one of those too.”

            I grinned like a clown, amazed that my mom had just scored me more swag. I told the woman my size and was escorted into the theater. Being the only paramount rep, we had the entire center row to ourselves. The lights dimmed and the open credits rolled. I watched the movie, reveling in every Katy-filled moment while silently wondering what my mom thought of it all. I whispered extra tidbits about the people to her, trying to fill in the gaps I felt the movie left. When the film was over, I was all sorts of excited. I looked at my mom, who was smiling.

            “So, what did you think?” I cautiously asked.

            “I liked it, a lot,” she responded. Her smile said it all. I knew my mom was a Katycat. No longer would I have to justify my adoration or explain Katy related things. She got it. 

 Mom and I in Disneyland 2012